Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing,
Only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness; So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another,
Only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence.

With every person that furks you up, you lose a piece of your humanity!

Listening to “System Of A Down – Lonely Day” (embedded below). I had a long talk with a 4000 miles away friend. We have discussed about everything and nothing. It’s hard to explain. Think that you are in a mood to talk about yourself, about who you are, about your past (not quite), about your dreams, your wishes, your goals, your disappointments, your hopes, your heart, your soul; about YOU!. It is not planned. It is just a conversation, started from nowhere, started from the need to communicate; topics change fast, it is blurry, there are thoughts said, discussed, random pieces of conscience.

Well, you see… me and this friend have opposite ways of thinking in about every tiny or not tiny idea on this planet. I think black; it thinks white; I act black; it acts white. I like speaking to this friend because it calms me down; no matter how sad; how angry; how controversial, chaotic or tormented I feel, I discuss with it and, after presenting another point of view (like I said, totally opposite from mine) – I calm down and see things/people/situations more clearly. And sad I was…

A topic we have touched was my past experiences with some people I trusted and them disappointing me. In some cases – the first ones – I had not expected it and it hurt; it hurt a lot. In the rest that followed, I was “prepared” for it; I kept my doubts about them and the events did not left such deep scares. But the main debated idea was that, even in the latter cases, when I expected it and I got over it very fast, it still hurt. Not as the first time when I was disappointed, nor the second, or the third; but it still hurt, it still was bitter.

Geo: With every person that you trust, you (me) open yourself (myself) a little (more).
Geo: With every person that furks you up, you lose a piece of your humanity!
Friend: “With every person that furks you up, you lose a piece of your humanity!” – do you really believe this?
Geo: Yes.
Geo: There are no bad people, there are just people to whom bad things have happened!
Friend: I thought you were supposed to be the optimist
Geo: I am, I have never lost and I WILL NEVER LOSE trust in people, in the people to whom I open myself. But none the less, it is not about being optimistic or romantic, it is about people you have trusted, people you trust, people you will trust. The same people who will furk you up!

To sum up, with every person that lets you down (be it acquaintance, friend, family; or that rare person you’ll die for), you will be disappointed, it will make you (in a smaller or greater amount) doubt others and, indirectly, YOU! Humans are defined by emotions, by their amount of trust, by their share of openness. Trusting, communicating, letting others know you.

With every hit you get; with every event that leaves scares, you lose from your humanity. YOU BECOME MORE MATURE, MORE EXPERIENCED on the sinuous road of life. But my question is: where is your line? How many blows you have to take until you lose ALL your HUMANITY?

Dear readers,

You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.

A few minutes after a moment was gone, Tudor (the “uncut diamond”) started writing an answer. An unique style he has: he wrote it in 10 minutes, no looking back, just writing and then clicking that “Publish” button. I do not say for nothing he’s “uncut”, nor I compare him with a “diamond” because I have a biased opinion about him. In the same time I was reading his answer, I gave the link to a few people I respect. And… “as much as I love to learn, I must at a point choose my very own way, the road that only I walk” (Quicksilver).

Together we walk

I have done and felt and thought a lot of moments with Tudor beside me. I will continue to do so a very long time from now on; on the bumpy road of life there are unclear rules, but still rules.

Yes, it is a “gliche”, but life is a GAME. A game like chess, which is played in two, against each other, but in which you learn and mature, in which you lose or win. Chess (like many other games), it’s not about winning or losing, it’s about the road towards the end; about where you have started, what you learn, losing a queen (love) or a rook (a best friend), moving on, becoming stronger with every move you make, with every piece you take, with every square you conquer. It does not matter if you play with the white pieces (helping) or with the black pieces (profit); in both cases, you are a player, learning the rules, walking the road and knowing yourself.

Or you can compare life with more complex games: more players (relatives, people you know, friends, very close friends) and, implicit, more rules. The basics are the same: in life there are no winners, no losers.  At the end of the day, at the end of the month, at the end of the year, at the end of your life, it does not matter if you have won or lost; it only matters the road. Or better yet, compare life with a game of hide and seek: hiding from getting hurt and seeking love; hiding from unpleasant profiteers and seeking your career path; hiding from yourself and seeking others.

I was once read that one is defined as a sum of the people he/she knows. That is true, if you know better/stronger character/wiser people, you are defined by them and become one of them and even greater. That is true, but “until one point”; until one fine line: the line between the people that define you (that influence you, that are your helpers, that are your role models, that MAKE you who you are) and YOU.

No matter how great/better/stronger/wiser are the people that define you and how much you learn from them, THEY are not YOU. No matter how much time you will spend with them or how many wonderful and unique experiences you will have beside them, your character will revolt. Your character will scream. Your character will make you FIND YOUR OWN ROAD.

Many people will try to help you and walk beside you. You will reject them. Some people will try to talk you out of it. You will be deaf. A few close friends will know that the road you have chosen is the road that only you walk.

Best regards,

Geo (Belea2008).

P.S.: Where YOUR road will take you, I do not know. But I wish you farewell and success, my friend! (don’t forget to follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/Belea2008)

Dear readers,

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.

Guess what I’m doing now? Mainly the same and different, this time listening to “Amy MacDonald – This is the Life“. The same: embedded below; different: made some tweaks to the embed window (a little larger and a boarder and a blueish color theme) – let me know what do you think about it. I have the belief that one has to search people who talk about great things, for people who think about great things, for people who do great things. I still believe in it, but…

…how many small things will you do before achieving that “great thing”? How many conversations about wine will you participate in before giving a speech in front of a million people? Just count the moments in your life in which you were entangling in meaningless ideas or goals; count them as sheep and see how long you’ll last before falling asleep. In the same time, remember one random jinx: Not all will become leaders!

Even if you are an uncut diamond, or Dalai Lama; even if you are a random guy on the Internet, or Linus Benedict Torvalds; even if you are a young engineer, or Anghel Saligny; even if you are a male, or a female – we all have a moment… a moment in which we are lonely with a friend beside us, a moment in which we want more, a moment in which we think  about the past. In this moment, we do want to talk about ideas, we do not want to talk about things, we just want to talk about wine. We just want to remember. We just want to chat. And brag, and say nothing.

The truth is, as strong as you are, showing a face to others, maybe another face each day. As prepared as you are to face the unknown; as willing you are to not show your weaknesses because others depend on you or just because; as your mask is made of stone; as you face challenges and don’t bother about feelings (your feelings); you are flesh. This is the moment in which your heart beats, in which your heart hurts, in which you are sincere and silent.  You are not sad, you do not regret distant friends, you do not remember the distance or the departure, you are just melancholic. It is that “What if?” moment.

This moment is not unique (you will have plenty of them), it is not unusual (you are human after all), this moment is a step (towards your goals). It is the moment in which you are part of the small people. You are prepared to change the course of your life. You are prepared to make life changing decisions. It is the moment in which every detail counts forever, the moment is you – small, human, unshielded, optimistic, idealist, friendly, open, caring, altruist. Every great person has this moment in order to become a leader.

In that very moment, you ask your friend: “Do we buy a beer?”, he says yes and the moment is gone! You are ready to conquer another mountain, or DREAM!

Best regards,

Geo (Belea2008)

P.S.: I said not all will become leaders; it is a false statement: everyone is a leader in its own unique way! Take care of you, your heart and I wish you success in conquering your mountains! (as always, if you have troubles, you can contact me on http://twitter.com/Belea2008)

Dear readers,

Many individuals have, like uncut diamonds, shining qualities beneath a rough exterior!

I’m in my room, alone; listening to “Fool’s Garden – Lemon Tree” (embedded below) and thinking (again) about random things. One week has passed since I began my journey in the jungle of personal blogging (took me 5 hours to write that previous post and another 3 hours to mess with a killer template). One week of thoughts, emotions and trying to figure out the “bazillion” settings and gadgets and tweaks of the WordPress platform. 7 days I was like DeeDee from Dexter’s Laboratory: “Uuuuu… what does this button do?”.

And so I discovered “referrers”. My initial plan was to talk about them: show you some numbers, the links and tell you my opinion about it. But when I clicked on one of them: Tudor’s blog (DISCLOSURE: Tudor is one of my best friends in RL and his blog is my best referrer until now – All time: 18 out of 42 clicks came from it ) and I read two interesting posts:  “expectations and trust” and “the need to drag up, the need to be draged”

[coming soon...]

Best regards,

Geo (Belea2008).

P.S.: I figured out that comment are enabled, but moderated (so I have to approve each one of them). So, don’t expect to see your comments showing up in real time. If you want to approve your comment and you do not wish to wait, give me a message on my twitter account: http://twitter.com/Belea2008. The spice must flow! Take care!

Dear readers,

I had more than a year and a half to think about this post and here it goes…

… I’m in front of my notebook (Acer eMachines E510); listening to “Poets of the Fall – Carnival of Rust” (embedded below); trying to ignore the insane high temperature from this random campus room and I have (again) no idea where to start… emotions – too many of them; ideas – soon to come; people – each of them unique; events – funny or serious ones… so the conclusion: this blog post = my first personal blog post = just some random thoughts.

1. I’m very curious how and why the term of “notebook” was created. After all, my humble opinion is that they are all laptops (as in they sit on your “lap” while you do your online “top” stuff) (just googled it – even the Wikipedia page for “notebook” redirects to, guess what, “laptop”).

2. I hated Ubuntu in my first two weeks of using it. Two infuriating weeks. I disliked  Windows for every blue screen it gave me (and they were like a lot of them during my more than 10 years of usage) (I also heard that they are, kind of, history with that Windows 7 coming). But I have never imagined that a software will give me real headaches. I like challenges. It took me two weeks to calm down and get used to it (the fact that is was free, that it was NOT Windows and that there is a forum topic on every problem I encountered or I will encounter definitely helped). Took me 7 months to find out how to make the wireless work; the microphone still disabled and I have no idea if that cool incorporated camera works – almost a year of daily Ubuntu doing stuff – I’m a fan of it. I’m courious to see if things will change with that Google OS announced to come in a year or so!

3. I found out about “Poets of the fall” from an eRepublik citizen (one wish: YouTube, please introduce auto-replay in videos!). I considered them nice, interesting and something new. But I definitely added them to my forever preferences list on the day of the elections. On that day, I have decided that I will not look at the results (I later find out that I was the leading candidate for the presidency of Romania all that day and that I lost in the last hour with 11 votes). So, what to do you for 24 hours in order not to check on the elections. Simple: chat with my party president and write the strategy for both situations: me becoming president or losing the elections (and all of that in the same time with listening “Poets of the fall” over and over and over again).

4. And here are some other random ideas (which I wish to expand in future blog posts or never): I deleted my Yahoo account, I dislike hi5, I wish Facebook blows up, I like Twitter, I love eRepublik, I’m a fan of Blizzard (Diablo is my favorite not web-based game); I like simple services and beer…

(to be continued… or not…)

Best regards,

Geo (Belea2008).

P.S.: I have no idea if I enabled comments or if they are moderated or not, so if you cannot post a comment, just give me a message on my Twitter account: http://twitter.com/Belea2008. Thank you all for reading and the spice must flow!