“Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant.”

As some of you know, I have decided not to access my Yahoo Messenger account anymore (March 1, 2009). In fact, I have decided to use the delete feature. FOREVER! (https://edit.yahoo.com/config/delete_user) Drastic? Yes. Does it worth it? Big time! But… there are a few details I miss. I’m listening to “Metallica – Unforgiven 2″ (embedded below) and reviewing the fun and unique moments and some of the most annoying ones.

As all young people from this country, I created a Yahoo account long time ago (in another era). It was the time of browsing the World Wide Web sporadically from “Internet Cafés”; skipping school in order to play multiplayer games and proving our “matureness” by scoring head shots; piracy was rampant in our young heads; we did not care about rules, about Internet, about responsibilities. None of us understood the power of online communication; none of us thought about online personas; about bills and real time free communication. I created the email musculosul@yahoo.com (translated in English it was something along the line of thebrawnyone@yahoo.com). Funny decision, because I have a skinny constitution. But what can I say…? I was young and liked a lot a Sprite advertisement campaign at that time. :)

Time passed (I played countless hours of games and Yahoo games; I still consider it one of the best communities for playing chess) and I ended up in faculty. New town, away from home; with my ID I became cool. In this period, my ego started showing up and defining itself. The big picture: a skinny guy with an opposite and uber funny ID. I think also my charisma played a big part in becoming one of the young students who was on top of the wave. Parties, discovering the secrets (both the joyful and the grey ones) of a big Bucharest, finding out about people, interests, passions, responsibilities; all the small things that help you succeed in life. Regarding my relation with Yahoo, two events happened: (a) I changed the ID at one point in time to be more serious – name + surname like; (b) I started added a lot of people to my Yahoo messenger.

I am not sure what happened with musculosul@yahoo.com. I have the impression that I did not delete it. I have the feeling that my password stopped working one day. It does not matter that much. It was time to become SERIOUS! The transition was smooth; having a lot of students from around the country in a tool to communicate in real time gives a great sense of “power”; a great sense of belonging; I had no time to get bored: no matter the time of the day or night, I had people to talk with, to give me information, to help me; or just chat. I lost at one point my first serious ID. A great blow! No biggie. Created another serious ID – the one that I deleted in March (the one that I used extensively for several years).

With this last serious ID, things were the same at first. But with time, the communication changed; added people – from friends to random people. A lot of people. It is interesting to have a hobby of adding persons to your Yahoo messenger (strong connections with one’s ego). But how much time and how many people you add before the communication is disrupted by noise (or replaced sometimes), before relaxation in front of the computer becomes a time consuming burden; before the tool for communication becomes an addiction. Years, I have spent several hours per day in order to read offline messages, to check out who is online, to check statuses of different people, to talk about nothing with people I did not know. BUT NOISE CHANGES ONE’S PERCEPTION…

I define “Internet noise” as any message addressed to me which is not of interest for me. Noise is directly proportional with the number of people that are connected to me (you) through a communication tool. You can filter noise from communication in two simple ways: manually or automatic. Let us forget a bit about automatic filtering: no matter how good a tool is, manual filtering works best every time. From my point of view, Yahoo failed miserably at filtering the noise, at helping me filter it manually. Their biggest two fails: mass messages and tutoring users about blocking.

Mass messages are slowly killing any type of constructive communication. Every time (I used) you use the mass message feature, the following not so good events happen: you minimize the importance of every person who receives that message (it is not addressed at them specifically, it is a NOT addressed to people; it is addressed to a list) and at least one of the persons who receive it will consider that message noise. It is almost impossible to create groups of people to have same interests, feelings, passions. Mass messages are the simplest solution to spam people. Spam them with jokes, with links, with information that does not interest them. Think about it next time you will use that feature. Think how many of the people who you spam will be grateful for that uninteresting piece of noise you are spreading. Just saying…

Yahoo Messenger has ways to tag and block messages and people who are not of interest for you. I found out about blocking ALL people who are not in your messenger, but too late… But what do you do with the people that you already added? I (you) have to remove that person from your list and then tag the message as spam. And the most painful question: what if a friend sends you a noise message? Then those not so fun discussions start: “Do not send me mass messages and babel fish noise, please!” + “Oh, now you are really (insert not friendly adjective here)!“…

In my final months of using the Yahoo Messenger, I gave up. Every time I entered it, I was “invisible”. Bazillions of chat windows kept popping up. What made me press the “delete” button? My ego, mostly. Almost every person I know (from my country) uses Yahoo Messenger. Let’s be special – let’s be one of the few who take extreme measures. And I admit: it felt and it is still feels good! Would you completely and irreversibly delete one of your most important online accounts?

Best regards,

Geo.

Question: “What is the date of expiry of validity for a secret?”

Recommended background: “Madonna – Secret” (embedded below)

Inspiration: Validity (Romanian – translated in English below)

In the last week, I have been haunting the web, jumping between blogs, reading ideas, viewing different writing styles. Analyzing; processing; thinking. Even if they talk about wine, about things or about ideas, all of them have something in common: they want to express themselves. This expression is more or less personal; fictional; cryptic, is more or less who they are. Even in cases when the online persona is totally opposite from the real life counterpart, this persona wants to express a message. And I reached a person who wrote 99 things about her (Romanian). Unusual blog – it is mostly about “Top 5″ various bits and pieces. But among all these bits and pieces, I found a message that challenged my neuron…

Let’s say someone has a secret, one thing that he/she did, or a belief, or whatever. The point is that nobody knows about it. Forget about the stereotype that a secret cannot be kept really secret, and that at any given time at least two people know about it. Let’s suppose that only one person knows. How long should that person wait until it is all right to reveal the mystery? When I say “all right”, I mean the absence of major repercussions, but also that those who would learn the secret would not consider it necessary to judge the person for what he/she did, or for what he/she  thinks.

I think that, as in most cases, everything is relative, and the date of expiry of validity of a secret depends on its importance (or, better said, on its severity). For example, if someone has lied to his/her parents, that person can tell them after a short time without the risk of a punishment (of course, the secret is not about him/her killing another human being). But maybe there should be some warranty terms by category.

When can you tell the guy you loved silently in high school how much you liked him without him looking at you with condescension or simply start laughing at you?

When you can tell your homophobic friends that you had intimate experiences with someone of the same sex (and you liked it) without them excluding you from the group?

How long you should wait until you tell a teacher that you have copied at all his exams and that you think that everything he taught you to be absolutely useless?

When can you tell a friend that you despise (or you have despised) his/her deeply loved?

When you disclose to your close ones that you had a relationship with a married man?

How long should you keep to yourself that you tried to commit suicide, but you did not succeed?

How long do you wait until you tell to a snobbish friend that you stole from a store?

And the fact that you do not tell to anyone means that it did not actually happen? It is a way to deny to yourself parts of your personality that you can not reconcile with and that you would condemn yourself for? It’s a way to bury your conscience or, the opposite, is just one more reason to burden yourself?

I’m waiting for suggestions.

The very definition of secret is hidden. Some may argue that some ideas/thoughts/events can be secrets (as in “hidden”) and the same things change their status. Well, those people are right and not. My (humble) opinion is that there are no small secrets. If you tell an idea, a belief to a friend; it was not a secret. If you share an awkward, unusual, hurtful event with a person you know; it was not a secret. If someone knows about your deepest bits and pieces of yourself; then those bits and pieces were not secrets. Every “secret” you will share is, in fact, a more important and serious piece of information (because you share it very hard and you share it only with a few people). To sum up: for me, secrets are defined as having no date of expiry of validity. As in, you take them into the death’s dust!

QUESTION: When do you share a secret? ANSWER: Why should I share it? We already established that it is hidden for serious/grave reasons; for serious/grave consequences. Why should I hurt others by telling them a disturbing opinion? Why should I be the one who ruins their day? What it would change? NOTHING! People like to be ignorant! “Ignorance is bliss!” – a very true statement. Simple people are more happy than others. “The truth sets you free!” – so totally wrong. Truth hurts people; it hurts them because they do not wish to hear it. Tell the truth; tell your secrets – I dare you! You will be instantly demonized and hated.

And to reach the end of this rant, one last (humble) opinion: your secret happened. It was real. You learned from it. You matured. The fact that you keep it for yourself does not reduce from its reality, its importance, its influence over you. It is not a sign of inhumanity, a guilt or a burden; it is only a private part of yourself; it is only YOUR SECRET!

Best regards,

Geo.

With every person that furks you up, you lose a piece of your humanity!

Listening to “System Of A Down – Lonely Day” (embedded below). I had a long talk with a 4000 miles away friend. We have discussed about everything and nothing. It’s hard to explain. Think that you are in a mood to talk about yourself, about who you are, about your past (not quite), about your dreams, your wishes, your goals, your disappointments, your hopes, your heart, your soul; about YOU!. It is not planned. It is just a conversation, started from nowhere, started from the need to communicate; topics change fast, it is blurry, there are thoughts said, discussed, random pieces of conscience.

Well, you see… me and this friend have opposite ways of thinking in about every tiny or not tiny idea on this planet. I think black; it thinks white; I act black; it acts white. I like speaking to this friend because it calms me down; no matter how sad; how angry; how controversial, chaotic or tormented I feel, I discuss with it and, after presenting another point of view (like I said, totally opposite from mine) – I calm down and see things/people/situations more clearly. And sad I was…

A topic we have touched was my past experiences with some people I trusted and them disappointing me. In some cases – the first ones – I had not expected it and it hurt; it hurt a lot. In the rest that followed, I was “prepared” for it; I kept my doubts about them and the events did not left such deep scares. But the main debated idea was that, even in the latter cases, when I expected it and I got over it very fast, it still hurt. Not as the first time when I was disappointed, nor the second, or the third; but it still hurt, it still was bitter.

Geo: With every person that you trust, you (me) open yourself (myself) a little (more).
Geo: With every person that furks you up, you lose a piece of your humanity!
Friend: “With every person that furks you up, you lose a piece of your humanity!” – do you really believe this?
Geo: Yes.
Geo: There are no bad people, there are just people to whom bad things have happened!
Friend: I thought you were supposed to be the optimist
Geo: I am, I have never lost and I WILL NEVER LOSE trust in people, in the people to whom I open myself. But none the less, it is not about being optimistic or romantic, it is about people you have trusted, people you trust, people you will trust. The same people who will furk you up!

To sum up, with every person that lets you down (be it acquaintance, friend, family; or that rare person you’ll die for), you will be disappointed, it will make you (in a smaller or greater amount) doubt others and, indirectly, YOU! Humans are defined by emotions, by their amount of trust, by their share of openness. Trusting, communicating, letting others know you.

With every hit you get; with every event that leaves scares, you lose from your humanity. YOU BECOME MORE MATURE, MORE EXPERIENCED on the sinuous road of life. But my question is: where is your line? How many blows you have to take until you lose ALL your HUMANITY?

“If you come home as happy as you leave, you have had a good vacation.” (Part 2 out of 6)

Recommended background: “Dub Incorporation – Rudeboy” (embedded below)

Not drunk and not tired

The vacation is over. I had fun. I had relaxation. I laughed. I was amazed. I felt. I thought. I drank. I slept. I ate. I lazed. No sex (after all, you cannot have all the ingredients). There were some not so joyful moments, but overall I declare it not a perfect one, but a good vacation.

In one’s life, there are rare moments in which the perception of things is overwhelming. It is caused by a multitude of small pieces gathered and mixed together to form a uniform and compact feeling. A feeling which is rarely lost and it persists with the same intensity over your life and actions. I had such a moment watching a mountain lake slowly being covered by fog.

Transfăgărăşan, Bâlea – just Google it. Words, pictures, videos – 10 minutes of information. At the first glance, it’s a cascade or an icy lake (2034 meters), an ice hotel, a road, a path, a tunnel, a mountain pass… nature in a tormented and chaotic country. All of you have passed over mountains. You have walked over roads, you have taken paths, crossed tunnels. Few of you have felt the dripping from a waterfall or smelled the flagrance of a clear lake. Even fewer have actually witnessed the building of an ice hotel.  I have not reached the point of the hotel yet, but I’m not far from it. Not that far from it…

You have the icy lake, sorrounded by mountains. Like the mountains have their roots in the lake. You just stay petrified with no words; amazed; in love; feeling mortal and flesh; feeling small on a big planet. After a few minutes, the fog (like a mistress) comes down from the peaks of the mountains, from all sides; covering inch by inch the stones; reaching the lake; continuing to cover each drop of the silent water. You are still petrified; not by fear, but by your own emotions. You do not know if you should laugh or shed a tear. You look at your hands; the fog is also coming from behind you. The fog is also covering you, the people around you. You feel incertitude, but a relaxing one. You have a second of clarity, thinking that you should shoot a picture. That second vanishes, pictures are meaningless. Maybe a video, but not that either. In fact, you do not wish to spoil the moment, you just only want to feel. You close your eyes and the smell of the fog goes through your veins. You know that you will never forget that smell. You wish to make comparisons in order to better remember the moment, the feelings, the FOG; but your thoughts are in that fog, memories come from and disappear in that fog; you remember a friend, a love, a passion, your goals, your insane dreams. You lose sense of time. You do not know how much you stay still: a second, a minute, an hour… Not that much, it is probably a matter of minutes until you open your eyes and everything is covered in fog. Just minutes for the moment to pass, just minutes for coming back to reality. YOU WILL NEVER FORGET THOSE MINUTES!

Best regards,

Geo.

P.S.: Next post in 24 hours (more or less). DO NOT FOLLOW me on Twitter!

“If you come home as happy as you leave, you have had a good vacation.” (Part 1 out of 6)

Starting today, I’m in a vacation (a seven days one). At the moment, I’m in my home town, in the house of my parents, in my childhood house; listening to “Pink – Funhouse” (embedded below – HD version). The plan is to leave in three (3) hours away from the cities, into the mountains. Don’t expect hitchhiking, nor conquering the Omu peak (2505 meters, Bucegi Mountains, Romania), it will just be a car ride enjoying the fairytale of my country, sightseeing, sleeping in campings, making barbecues, drinking natural juice, breathing clean air, having more or less talks about everything and nothing. It will be 7 days of family time. I have mixed emotions.

It’s strange. I love my family. They love me. We all (four) have strong characters, personalities. We have passed the period of “generations battles”. I’ve had my share of drinking beers with my father. I’ve had those moments in which my mother cared for me and did those motherly aspects of raising me. I’ve been given “friendly advices” by my sister (she’s older than me). We are all mature. We have our own dreams and goals and roads. It’s awkward to see myself at my age (25 – I’m not decided if I’m old or still very young) spending seven days with all of them – “family time”. This vacation is blurry – I may enjoy it like there is no tomorrow; or it may be the “vacation from hell”. One thing I know for sure: I expected it with enthusiasm, with open mind and heart, with the joy of knowing that I will relax and think and feel. And after all, it’s my vacation and I will not let anything or anyone (mortal or immortal) spoil it.

It’s strange. I have slept all day; drank some beer; had my share of haunting the World Wide Web – being lazy; not thinking about responsibilities and tasks; talking with some old or new friends. But from time to time, randomly, I could not detach myself fully from important thoughts: my work is a game, a very serious game. Yes, I’m on vacation, but passions never exit from one’s mind. Things you truly care about – no matter how far you are, no matter what happens; your mind and soul still does not make the difference, your soul and mind will never accept the distance, the detachment. It will eventually show up for a glimpse in your ocean of vacation feelings. It’s normal, but strange. And I have an excuse for it: it’s only my first day of vacation. I will have my time to detach myself. “That’s why I think that vacations should be at least 2 weeks, or maybe more” (Quicksilver).

Regards,

Geo (Belea2008).

P.S.: I wish to write a blog post at the end of each day of my vacation; I do have a tone of ideas to share with you. I’m not sure if I am able to – beer + mountains + family + vacation = ? (follow me on Twitter just in case it happens: http://twitter.com/Belea2008).

You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.

A few minutes after a moment was gone, Tudor (the “uncut diamond”) started writing an answer. An unique style he has: he wrote it in 10 minutes, no looking back, just writing and then clicking that “Publish” button. I do not say for nothing he’s “uncut”, nor I compare him with a “diamond” because I have a biased opinion about him. In the same time I was reading his answer, I gave the link to a few people I respect. And… “as much as I love to learn, I must at a point choose my very own way, the road that only I walk” (Quicksilver).

Together we walk

I have done and felt and thought a lot of moments with Tudor beside me. I will continue to do so a very long time from now on; on the bumpy road of life there are unclear rules, but still rules.

Yes, it is a “gliche”, but life is a GAME. A game like chess, which is played in two, against each other, but in which you learn and mature, in which you lose or win. Chess (like many other games), it’s not about winning or losing, it’s about the road towards the end; about where you have started, what you learn, losing a queen (love) or a rook (a best friend), moving on, becoming stronger with every move you make, with every piece you take, with every square you conquer. It does not matter if you play with the white pieces (helping) or with the black pieces (profit); in both cases, you are a player, learning the rules, walking the road and knowing yourself.

Or you can compare life with more complex games: more players (relatives, people you know, friends, very close friends) and, implicit, more rules. The basics are the same: in life there are no winners, no losers.  At the end of the day, at the end of the month, at the end of the year, at the end of your life, it does not matter if you have won or lost; it only matters the road. Or better yet, compare life with a game of hide and seek: hiding from getting hurt and seeking love; hiding from unpleasant profiteers and seeking your career path; hiding from yourself and seeking others.

I was once read that one is defined as a sum of the people he/she knows. That is true, if you know better/stronger character/wiser people, you are defined by them and become one of them and even greater. That is true, but “until one point”; until one fine line: the line between the people that define you (that influence you, that are your helpers, that are your role models, that MAKE you who you are) and YOU.

No matter how great/better/stronger/wiser are the people that define you and how much you learn from them, THEY are not YOU. No matter how much time you will spend with them or how many wonderful and unique experiences you will have beside them, your character will revolt. Your character will scream. Your character will make you FIND YOUR OWN ROAD.

Many people will try to help you and walk beside you. You will reject them. Some people will try to talk you out of it. You will be deaf. A few close friends will know that the road you have chosen is the road that only you walk.

Best regards,

Geo (Belea2008).

P.S.: Where YOUR road will take you, I do not know. But I wish you farewell and success, my friend! (don’t forget to follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/Belea2008)

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.

Guess what I’m doing now? Mainly the same and different, this time listening to “Amy MacDonald – This is the Life“. The same: embedded below; different: made some tweaks to the embed window (a little larger and a boarder and a blueish color theme) – let me know what do you think about it. I have the belief that one has to search people who talk about great things, for people who think about great things, for people who do great things. I still believe in it, but…

…how many small things will you do before achieving that “great thing”? How many conversations about wine will you participate in before giving a speech in front of a million people? Just count the moments in your life in which you were entangling in meaningless ideas or goals; count them as sheep and see how long you’ll last before falling asleep. In the same time, remember one random jinx: Not all will become leaders!

Even if you are an uncut diamond, or Dalai Lama; even if you are a random guy on the Internet, or Linus Benedict Torvalds; even if you are a young engineer, or Anghel Saligny; even if you are a male, or a female – we all have a moment… a moment in which we are lonely with a friend beside us, a moment in which we want more, a moment in which we think  about the past. In this moment, we do want to talk about ideas, we do not want to talk about things, we just want to talk about wine. We just want to remember. We just want to chat. And brag, and say nothing.

The truth is, as strong as you are, showing a face to others, maybe another face each day. As prepared as you are to face the unknown; as willing you are to not show your weaknesses because others depend on you or just because; as your mask is made of stone; as you face challenges and don’t bother about feelings (your feelings); you are flesh. This is the moment in which your heart beats, in which your heart hurts, in which you are sincere and silent.  You are not sad, you do not regret distant friends, you do not remember the distance or the departure, you are just melancholic. It is that “What if?” moment.

This moment is not unique (you will have plenty of them), it is not unusual (you are human after all), this moment is a step (towards your goals). It is the moment in which you are part of the small people. You are prepared to change the course of your life. You are prepared to make life changing decisions. It is the moment in which every detail counts forever, the moment is you – small, human, unshielded, optimistic, idealist, friendly, open, caring, altruist. Every great person has this moment in order to become a leader.

In that very moment, you ask your friend: “Do we buy a beer?”, he says yes and the moment is gone! You are ready to conquer another mountain, or DREAM!

Best regards,

Geo (Belea2008)

P.S.: I said not all will become leaders; it is a false statement: everyone is a leader in its own unique way! Take care of you, your heart and I wish you success in conquering your mountains! (as always, if you have troubles, you can contact me on http://twitter.com/Belea2008)

Many individuals have, like uncut diamonds, shining qualities beneath a rough exterior!

I’m in my room, alone; listening to “Fool’s Garden – Lemon Tree” (embedded below) and thinking (again) about random things. One week has passed since I began my journey in the jungle of personal blogging (took me 5 hours to write that previous post and another 3 hours to mess with a killer template). One week of thoughts, emotions and trying to figure out the “bazillion” settings and gadgets and tweaks of the WordPress platform. 7 days I was like DeeDee from Dexter’s Laboratory: “Uuuuu… what does this button do?”.

And so I discovered “referrers”. My initial plan was to talk about them: show you some numbers, the links and tell you my opinion about it. But when I clicked on one of them: Tudor’s blog (DISCLOSURE: Tudor is one of my best friends in RL and his blog is my best referrer until now – All time: 18 out of 42 clicks came from it :D ) and I read two interesting posts:  “expectations and trust” and “the need to drag up, the need to be draged”

[coming soon...]

Best regards,

Geo (Belea2008).

P.S.: I figured out that comment are enabled, but moderated (so I have to approve each one of them). So, don’t expect to see your comments showing up in real time. If you want to approve your comment and you do not wish to wait, give me a message on my twitter account: http://twitter.com/Belea2008. The spice must flow! Take care!

I had more than a year and a half to think about this post and here it goes…

… I’m in front of my notebook (Acer eMachines E510); listening to “Poets of the Fall – Carnival of Rust” (embedded below); trying to ignore the insane high temperature from this random campus room and I have (again) no idea where to start… emotions – too many of them; ideas – soon to come; people – each of them unique; events – funny or serious ones… so the conclusion: this blog post = my first personal blog post = just some random thoughts.

1. I’m very curious how and why the term of “notebook” was created. After all, my humble opinion is that they are all laptops (as in they sit on your “lap” while you do your online “top” stuff) (just googled it – even the Wikipedia page for “notebook” redirects to, guess what, “laptop”).

2. I hated Ubuntu in my first two weeks of using it. Two infuriating weeks. I disliked  Windows for every blue screen it gave me (and they were like a lot of them during my more than 10 years of usage) (I also heard that they are, kind of, history with that Windows 7 coming). But I have never imagined that a software will give me real headaches. I like challenges. It took me two weeks to calm down and get used to it (the fact that is was free, that it was NOT Windows and that there is a forum topic on every problem I encountered or I will encounter definitely helped). Took me 7 months to find out how to make the wireless work; the microphone still disabled and I have no idea if that cool incorporated camera works – almost a year of daily Ubuntu doing stuff – I’m a fan of it. I’m courious to see if things will change with that Google OS announced to come in a year or so!

3. I found out about “Poets of the fall” from an eRepublik citizen (one wish: YouTube, please introduce auto-replay in videos!). I considered them nice, interesting and something new. But I definitely added them to my forever preferences list on the day of the elections. On that day, I have decided that I will not look at the results (I later find out that I was the leading candidate for the presidency of Romania all that day and that I lost in the last hour with 11 votes). So, what to do you for 24 hours in order not to check on the elections. Simple: chat with my party president and write the strategy for both situations: me becoming president or losing the elections (and all of that in the same time with listening “Poets of the fall” over and over and over again).

4. And here are some other random ideas (which I wish to expand in future blog posts or never): I deleted my Yahoo account, I dislike hi5, I wish Facebook blows up, I like Twitter, I love eRepublik, I’m a fan of Blizzard (Diablo is my favorite not web-based game); I like simple services and beer…

(to be continued… or not…)

Best regards,

Geo (Belea2008).

P.S.: I have no idea if I enabled comments or if they are moderated or not, so if you cannot post a comment, just give me a message on my Twitter account: http://twitter.com/Belea2008. Thank you all for reading and the spice must flow!